Drive by 'ku

Shell casings at rest
all marked by evidence tents
life and death roll by

The other day, I was going home for lunch. it was 1:45pm or so. peaceful for the inner city, quiet. Got home, ate, emailed and chatted. Heading back to work, I took the same route as before, but this time, in the span of an hour... a side street was cordoned off by police tape. As I passed, I saw the reason for the roadblock; the area had been the scene of a drive by shooting where one 18 year old male was killed. On the ground were little yellow triangles marking where the shell casings had landed. these "evidence tents", as they are referred to by law enforcement, were all over the street, maybe as many as 25-30.

In my lifetime, I've seen violence and the aftermath of such violent acts before, but it still shakes a person up when you see something like that. Something no one should get used to seeing/experiencing.

Anyway, felt compelled to write the 'ku above.

Work 'ku

Why is it so calm,
before I assume duties?
After, Hell breaks loose

Smell from the landfill
permiates my nostrils
Now that's all I smell.



About my attempt at a healthy breakfast menu

Substantial apples
Breakfast for the last two weeks
I'm so over it.

Triumphant "Fuck you" Ku

Here is my first ku...Ahem!

I'm leaving, bitches
Fuck your hippy attitude
Who will score points now?

P.S. All my kus will be about roller derby.

Car Troubles... Oh Woe is Me

my car is satan
his horns are in my engine
keeping me from work

damn asshole gary
sold me a lemon carro
i could choke a foo'

Haikusa Nostra

I began to think about ways to label and/or market this thing we have (not that I'm trying to change IHYSM and other Haikus or anything) and while writing this afternoon's welcome steely 'ku, I typed "Haikusa Nostra" like it was nothing, just flowed out. Then, if I may toot me own horn here, I saw the genius in it.

See, I thought about the haikus Babs and myself had written, will continue to write and how some, most and maybe all readers would think is bad. Naturally, from bad haikus, the word "Badku" came to mind. i thought "BADKU! FUCKIN GENIUS!" After bragging to Babs that I was a damn savant, I googled badku and was immediately brought crashing back down to earth. Right there at the top of the page was badku.com. Babs agreed that I was a savant, an IDIOT savant.

So, worst story evar worster evarer? Haikusa Nostra, a take on La Cosa Nostra, Italian for "This thing We Have" also known as the American Italian Mafia.

I got plans betches.

Welcome 'ku

In honor of Steely Muthafuckin Jan joining this Haikusa Nostra, a welcoming 'ku

New contributor
Old Comrade of the struggle
No five-six-five 'kus!!!!

And speaking of the struggle, aka, working at Tantus

It was a struggle
being employed by crazies
We all have moved on

Welcome Steels!

1 'ku, 2 'ku, 3'ku!

Like minds think alike
But we volley mind bullets
That's Telekinesis Kyle

Gorillas in the Mist
Regal, beautiful creatures
Hands make great ashtrays.



So now I know birth
Rather a small glimpse of it
Blew out my O ring.

bitchy girls abound
judgmental stares pierce you cold
why are you so great?

LARGE deposit to the 666th national bank

iki = i killed it
yki = you killed it
ikm = i kill me/myself
irm = i redeemed myself (occurs rarely)
ihysm = i hate you so much
acrostand = to understand an acronym (without help)
acrotrans = to translate an acronym into its full wordage form
CP = chickpaunts
MB = man bitch
sinc = she is not cute
ct = club tit
faspc = fetal alcohol syndrome poster child (a personal favorite)
SI = so inappropriate


aaaaaaaaaand............ last but not least (for now)





KD = Kegel Down!!!

depression ku

sudden change of mood
now no desire to work
or even leave bed

666th National Bank of Acronyms and other deposit worthy statements and whatnot

We agreed, the very first quote that is also the very first "bank it"....

I'm wet now, thanks.

iwnt.

Rhyme 'ku

RTT?
I attempted haiku rhyme?
I think it's a sign.

continual wine
prolonged period of time
anyone'll shine.

blues night from below
the dulcet tones under toe
flow and rise, you know?

IMO, those weren't that bad. The following howefer...

Tired and sleepy and tired
ready to curl up and rest
gotta move lube first

While away haikus

The last two haiku
searched for one word to describe
unfavorable


RTT?
forever highway driving?
four hours away

aaaand....

of hotdogs, thin lips
of cankles, tiny peeners
mobile apartment

speaking of hotdogs

lazy ass fat betch
finally got the boot, yay
will miss organics ...

OK.

Afternoon 'kus

You talk forever.
Did you even take a breath?
didn't sound like it.

I gotta go back
If this haiku reaches you
hotdogs and skin rings.

Wednesday Morning 'ku

Had talk with my boss
He is very much like Ace
but not a crackhead.

Bonus stanza!

Oh yeah, and the sucking of the cock but not being the gay.

Ugh Haiku

CLEFTY SINC takes pics
i should just get over it
but she is NOT CUTE!

My First Day Laborer

I live in the ghetto, let's get that out of the way right now. On the plus side, I live above a bar named Rudy's Place. Don't know who Rudy is, but it doesn't matter. If it was named Irene's, muthafuckas would still show up. The negative aspects of living above a bar? Firstly, I don't drink... much. Secondly, it's a bar in the ghetto. Thirdly, its a loud bar in the ghetto. Fourthly, ghetto. I actually grew up running around these streets so living where I wreaked havok as a young cholo is comforting in many ways. Rather than run off another set of firstly, secondly's, trust me, there are many.

Talking of ghettos and dive bars, I want to get to the real subject of this first non haiku blog from myself. The building that plays host to myself and Rudy's Place is almost 100 years old. When I moved in, there was this old clawfoot cast iron bathtub. This thing weighed in at a whopping 400 lbs. It was in good shape, but it still had to go. I had been planning to get to moving it and after a short period of lethargy, the day had come. I had arranged for help, but at the last minute, my help was no where to be found. I had the truck lined up, but there was no way i was moving this tub by myself. I resigned myself to the fact that free help wasn't going to happen, so i cruised by the local hardware superstore in search of the perfect day laborer, hence forth referred to as "daylabe".

Now, keeping in mind this tub has to go down some stairs, I'm looking for some strong daylabes. It was a veritable meat market of them. I had witnessed before how the daylabe would swarm other vehicles in search of work. I didn't want to cause the same chaos so I pulled up not making any eye contact. After I parked, I saw this guy and tried to discretely call him over. After seeing me gesture towards him, he does the last thing I want him to do, sprint, full gallop, right at me. This starts the avalanche. The second, third and fourth guy to sprint up to me were all collectively about 6 foot tall. Yeah, no. The fifth however, although older seemed the right guy for the job. I felt like I was some john setting up a date, then remembered, daylabes don't sleep around.

We got back to my apt and tried to explain in my broken, crappy spanish how they should take it down the flight of steps. They looked at me, nodding their heads and in the end, they did it their own way. WTG.

After taking the tub to the local metal recyclers, I gave them a little more for their effort and because I got a bit more money than I thought I would. When I drove them back to where I picked them up, I thanked them and bough them couple waters too. In the parking lot, I was confronted by some passive aggressive betch who scolded me for supporting illegal labor, illegal immigration and illegal activities. If she would've said illegal one more time, I was going to pay the daylabes somethin extra to kick her ass. Seriously, I shined her on because she didn't help me move the tub.

Anyway, the reason why I felt compelled to write about daylabes is because while alot of people think it's a bad thing for them to loiter about like grandma snuggies, i beg to differ. At least they are dedicated to trying to earn some money by getting up early in the morning and standing around on the off chance you'll get chosen among the others individuals looking for the same opportunities. They're not going around, taking the easy routes like theft or dealing or other nefarious activities. They just want to work.

They want to survive. and the will to survive is a trait almost everyone has in their genetic makeup. Why should they be ridiculed for trying to survive? Most "Americans" have lost touch with their ancestry, but each and every American came from an immigrant, with the exception of Native Americans. Be it political, religious or financial, all of our forefathers came in search of something better. They could've laid down and died where they were, but their will to survive was strong, just as the daylabes. Next time you see a "huddled mass" wanting to provide a service, even if you don't need the help, consider what they could be doing to make money and be thankful.

GreetingHaiku #2

two wordy people
one blog to share between us
Oh, the fun shit we'll have stir!

fixed!

Haiku #1: Greeting

new blog abounding
readers everywhere rejoice
banter royalty