Today-ku

Today is the day
All set for your arrival
I cleaned up ghetto

Told the bums, "Dont beg!"
Told the naggers, "Don't nagger!"
told cops, "No sirens!"


Today is the day
but job dropped the axe on me
Good, hated that job

Birth-Ku!

It's your day of birth
'Twas 21 years ago
Bangry graced the Earth

Babs, it been a little over 3 years since I've had the utmost pleasure and honor to befriend you. My life has been enriched by our friendship and it is my hope that the next 21 years provides you with good life, good health, love and happiness.

You've got a best friend in me and I'll always be there for you.

ILYSM... Alex.

2 more days BTW

Shirk-ku

None since saturday
obligatory entry
neglect avoided

Deposit to the 666th

Sinc-lebrities - Celebrities who think they are attractive, but are really not cute at all.

SINC

Other than the obvious...

Rumer Willis





Jamie Lynn Sigler





Ashlee Simspon







Tori Spelling





Tara Reid

Anticipate-ku

One more fuckin week
The whole ghetto is anxious
Well, me anyway.

Sandra Chantelle

Today my sister would be sixteen... ah how life would be different. Its amazing how after fourteen years of living without someone you could still want them around so bad. I only knew my sis for 2 years, but I feel like I can imagine everything about how she would be now, at 16. I think we would look almost identical, because we did look like twins as babies. Other than that, she would probably just be driving my dad insane with her boy-craziness and attitude (she had quite the 'tude at two), of course she would have it easier off than I did (because I softened him up for her). Sweet sixteen, crazy.

Derby Name suggestions

OK, so... even though BC didn't pan out doesn't mean the fountain of derby names should cease, right? These are rapper themed for that innah sistah...




Missy Helliott

Snoop Quaddy-Quad

RUN AWAYFROMME (DMC... yeah that was a reach)

Notorious B.A.B.

Babsy Smallz

Haikusa Nostra Storefront

Check out the storefront.

I will ku

They don't say "I do"

"I will" is substituted

What's the fuckin' dif?


Oh yeah, the pastor?

Beard just like Anton Lavey

Yes... Church of Satan.


Q, me, danced all night

occasionally? shared some tears.

Frequently? good times.



Thinking of her time

when some scruffy guy asks me

to give her away



Aaand...

Baked Bread cinnamons

Forgot over the weekend

wadab...

Another Deposit

mobile apartment: when someone lives in their car
mobile bar & grille (aka MBAG): when someone is drunk all the time or in innappropriate settings (such as school)

Fuck my life Ku

Jerome is all drunk
He loves to use the word Fag
Hmm, projecting much?

Tryin to sleep ku

So, it's like 130 am, i gotta be up and in hayward @ 830 and karoeke night is still in full swing downstairs. oh yeah, did I mention how hot it is right now too? anyway...

Please, shut the fuck up!
You butcherer of Marvin!
for the love of god!

When you hit that note
while singing "let's get it on"
Gaye's Ghost will get you!

OH YEAH! and drunk betch!
Yeah you! In that fuckin' wig!
You ain't Aretha!

You can't sing like her
R-E-S-P-E-C-NO!
but you big like her


furthermore, since I'm up, I discovered something... in a cave. It lay among the ruins of an ancient land. what was it, you ask? Why, a ku, of course. Written a long time ago... chiseled into a stone tablet... at the foot of the altar of the patron saint of sarcasm, Saint Ihate Yousomuch... he was russian..... bnr.

Seriously, it should be the official HN ku!

Haikusa Nostra
This thing of ours that we share
You are so Fredo.

Bad TV ku

Reality rules
airwaves are inundated
with addictive poo

sadomasochists
trannies demanding money
immo beat you down

Continual ku

CleftySincisjustabouttheugliestbitchIhaveeverseen

Bitch ku

Why I love a bitch?
Not fuck love, baby mom love
Oh yeah, QUERIDA!

As bad as i bitch
Bemoaning situation
she still my homie


ROLL OUT!

High ku

I used to get high
All the goddamn, fuckin' time
My drug now? Haiku

I know about the video issues...

but if you could see this video clip, you would be ctfu.


Hilarious DUI Test - Watch more free videos

Debt ku

I frequently wish
debt monster pursues no more
it will die with me

Anoche...

Dont you love it when theres a cherry on top of your evening? Yesh, me too! So yesterday I left work early to get some rest because this blasted cold wont go away. Anyways, rest I couldnt get... I just couldnt fall asleep for whatever reason. So finally after watching SYTYCD and Top Chef I decided to hit the sack... but not before taking a pre-bedtime pee break. So I walk into the main commode of our home (now shared by 3 people) and I'm like "Ew, someone just dropped a load in here..." Well I lift the seat, and no no no... they LEFT their load in there. WTF!!!!!! Are we three year olds people? Are we still afraid to hear the toilet flush? (was that just me? shut up!) It was so gross, all disintegrated-ey from sitting in the water. So Im like, whatevs and I flush it... Heres the cherry.... it doesnt want to go down!

I LOOOOOOVE when Im not feeling well and at 11pm right before bed I get to plunge someone else's albondiga-esque turds in my pajamas... dont be jealous.

Here's a 'ku in its memory:

Albondiga shit
dancing with soppy T.P.
gross toilet sopa

IKI-ku

Much hilarity
Funny 'til it gets to me
The killer of it.

For clarification purposes only...

I really did see Arnold Schwarschenakljfakjhekahe (whatever, you get it) in Starbucks today... it was rather anti-climactic. What happened was me and my coworker went into the beverage facility and were sitting down (I had my back to the door) when my friend goes "OOh Look!". Now, the tone she used when saying this made me ABSOLUTELY SURE that I would turn around and find the most fluffiest cutest adoreablest puppy ever behind me (because we are in Little Italy where there are a pleothera of puppies). So I turned around with my eyes pointed toward the ground, but alas, no puppy. So I then move upwards and my eyes fall upon the Governator, snakeskin boots and all, talking on his cellie with his "entourage" of Secret Service cronies. Needless to say, I was sad... I wanted to see a puppy!!! So yeah, he had one of the SS guys order for him and all the onlookers were taking up all the space in the place, it sucked. I wanted to get the hell outta there because claustrophobia was setting in, but Pam was like "Lets sit here and drink our shit" so I was like "FINE FUCK!!!!!!!" I then proceeded to ask Pam if she was going to embarrass herself by taking a photo of the flesh-encapsuled robot governor to which she replied "I dont even have my phone with me!" So I said, "not only do I have my phone niftily (its a word) equipped with a camera, I ALSO have my digital camera in my purse..." she goes "TAKE A PICTURE THEN!!!" UH, no Pam, I have C-L-A-S-S. What the FUCK am I gonna do with a picture of Arnold Schwarchenheimen anyway? I rest my case.

Today I saw the Governator in Starbucks...

arnold in starbucks
GET OUT OF MY WAY AGHGHHAHH!!!!!!
hit the ground crying...

*** bonus line ***

scarred for life by muscle mass

i think it works equally well with or without the bonus dont you?

Overtime and Mental Stability kus

Saturday hours
Crazy pace, yet accepted
I think I'm insane.

I am serious
Working 8 hours straight thru
I think I'm insane.

Yeah, seriously
Hornet's nest, begin to end
I think, yeah... you know.

Impatience

I'm going to scream
He said he'd call but hasn't
Just fucking call, bitch!

He has zero clue
My life hangs in the balance
Meanwhile, he diddles

Can't ask Goat again
He'll rip my goddamn head off
An ulcer forms now

FYI, this IS about roller derby.

I noticed something

An old Stuart Smalley SNL skit was on the other day and I noticed something. His affirmation is a haiku...

I am good enough
smart enough and doggone it
(the) people like me

So yeah, you got that goin' for you!




I got nothing.

Banked to 666th National

RTT? - remember that time?

WRUD? - what r u doing?

Acro 'ku

RTT?
IHYSMRN
WRUD?