Thursday, August 28, 2008
RTT A-B-Chisme
Let's play a game. The rules are simple. Every response begins with RTT (remember that time) and the next word has to begin with sequential letters and the subsequent sentence has to be chisme, or gossip, past or present. For example, and to start it off, here's the first attempt...
RTT Ace sucked a ceck, but denies being gay?
So the next one would be RTT B.....?
Note, the first word doesn't have to be a name and the chisme doesn't have to be mutually know of. Get it? Good, then get on it, damnit!
RTT Ace sucked a ceck, but denies being gay?
So the next one would be RTT B.....?
Note, the first word doesn't have to be a name and the chisme doesn't have to be mutually know of. Get it? Good, then get on it, damnit!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Dance for the Tuna! DANCE I SAY!!!
Well, last night was eventful to say the least. The best part though, were my dreams. They were so good they caused me to sleep in late... I think I have better dreams after drinking wine, I need to make a note of that.
I cant remember the particular order of things anymore, but here are some tidbits that were awesome:
At one point I was late to a wedding, of which Jim from The Office was my date, and I wasnt dressed for the occasion. I did have heels on however and began sprinting to my house with the sun beating down on me. I'm pretty sure I was in National City for this part of the dream. Finally a UPS truck picked me up, but I dont think I ever made it to that wedding.
Later I was just running (during nighttime) with some hooligans, one of which I think was DARRELL from The Office. We just ran into peoples houses while they were watching prime time TV. I have no idea who we were running from.
This next part was loooong and awesome. It was one of those times where during the dream you're like "This is one fucking crazy ass dream!" What happened was I ran into a park with nice grass and trees. There was a big truck, like a delivery truck or armored one or something. Behind it there were two straight lines of chicks, and some other chicks with AK-47s or something. I was running so fast I didnt even notice the formation until an AK chick yelled at me to get back in line. So I did, cause I didnt want to get shot. THEN, she proceeded to make all the girls, myself included, do some sort of rehearsed ballet dance on the grass. Oa'a (Amanda, that means "Oh and, also...) they kept mentioning tuna, like "DANCE FOR THE TUNA!!!" Or something to that effect. Man, I was way below the other girls' skill level! Anyhoozles, I dont know how I got out of that, but I kept thinking "Man, Im a shitty dancer... furthermore, WHAT THE FUCK?"
The last part of my dream, as far as I can remember, was a weird ass gun fight between me with some other people (the good guys) and some random dudes (the bad guys). I dont know what they did to wrong us, and I cant remember how it started. What I do know is that the other "good guys" wouldnt shoot anyone themselves! I had to cap all the naggers myself! Talk about pressure. Also, these guys didnt really convey being in pain or being intimidated, so it made my job kinda hard. The last scene of my dream is this: I had already shot this guy in the guts like twice, and the cops show up. The cop tells me to shoot his balls/dick off, and I'm like "seriously?, ok!" So I shoot him in the groin, and instead of blowing his junk everywhere, it just makes a clean entry hole and a stream of urine starts shooting out of his cock. LIKE URINE IS HELD IN A COCK RESERVOIR! I hate when my dreams are scientifically unsound!
Thats concludes my transmission for this morning.
I cant remember the particular order of things anymore, but here are some tidbits that were awesome:
At one point I was late to a wedding, of which Jim from The Office was my date, and I wasnt dressed for the occasion. I did have heels on however and began sprinting to my house with the sun beating down on me. I'm pretty sure I was in National City for this part of the dream. Finally a UPS truck picked me up, but I dont think I ever made it to that wedding.
Later I was just running (during nighttime) with some hooligans, one of which I think was DARRELL from The Office. We just ran into peoples houses while they were watching prime time TV. I have no idea who we were running from.
This next part was loooong and awesome. It was one of those times where during the dream you're like "This is one fucking crazy ass dream!" What happened was I ran into a park with nice grass and trees. There was a big truck, like a delivery truck or armored one or something. Behind it there were two straight lines of chicks, and some other chicks with AK-47s or something. I was running so fast I didnt even notice the formation until an AK chick yelled at me to get back in line. So I did, cause I didnt want to get shot. THEN, she proceeded to make all the girls, myself included, do some sort of rehearsed ballet dance on the grass. Oa'a (Amanda, that means "Oh and, also...) they kept mentioning tuna, like "DANCE FOR THE TUNA!!!" Or something to that effect. Man, I was way below the other girls' skill level! Anyhoozles, I dont know how I got out of that, but I kept thinking "Man, Im a shitty dancer... furthermore, WHAT THE FUCK?"
The last part of my dream, as far as I can remember, was a weird ass gun fight between me with some other people (the good guys) and some random dudes (the bad guys). I dont know what they did to wrong us, and I cant remember how it started. What I do know is that the other "good guys" wouldnt shoot anyone themselves! I had to cap all the naggers myself! Talk about pressure. Also, these guys didnt really convey being in pain or being intimidated, so it made my job kinda hard. The last scene of my dream is this: I had already shot this guy in the guts like twice, and the cops show up. The cop tells me to shoot his balls/dick off, and I'm like "seriously?, ok!" So I shoot him in the groin, and instead of blowing his junk everywhere, it just makes a clean entry hole and a stream of urine starts shooting out of his cock. LIKE URINE IS HELD IN A COCK RESERVOIR! I hate when my dreams are scientifically unsound!
Thats concludes my transmission for this morning.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
August 20
Normally, I don't recognize this day. I lost someone very special a few years ago on this day. She's been on my mind and last night, she came to me in my dreams. Together, we re-lived the best of times and the worst, but instead of those events occurring where they had oh so many years ago, all the locales were recent and/or current. I didn't want to wake up and when I eventually did, I was in tears. it had been a while since I had thought of her and a few weeks ago, i found one of her shirts, one I had purchased for her one of her favorite restaurants. It jogged my memories of her and also, tagging along with the sadness was a morsel of guilt; guilt coming from the fact that I had not thought about her in a while. I've been going through so much recently; job transitions, friends coming into town, me going out of town, Q.... basically everything. My mind hasn't had time to wander.
So last night, 8/20/08, she came to me in my dreams to let me know that I'll never forget her and don't beat myself up over feeling guilty about allowing her to temporarily disappear from my thoughts. Re-living all the times we spent together was her way of telling me, "Haro? Look at all this you're remembering about me. Quit trippin' about fogettin' shit. I ain't goin' nowhere!"
Anyway, that how I interpreted that dream. And since I'm sharing, let me tell you a story I've probably shared with you before, but I know Amanda hasn't heard it!!! lol
So, Rachel and i went to the movies this one time. We decided to see what she wanted to see (Swim Fan) since she wasn't happy with the movie I chose the previous time, Undercover Brother. I compromised, as all good boyfriends should. We got to the theater 20 min before the movie was scheduled to start. one thing to know about rachel, she was diagnosed with severe obsessive compulsive disorder and she was very particular about how things should go down.
Ok, getting back to the story. We enter the theater and choose our seats carefully. There were maybe 20 other people in the theater with us. The movie starts and about 15 minutes in, these 2 dark figures, female, come into the theater and make a beeline for the seats directly behind us. the fuckin theater was practically empty and these two women choose to sit behind us. about 3 minutes later, another person enters the theater and I hear the two people skrunch down in their seats. This person then begins to call out, "POOKIE! POOKIE!!!" and when she gets no answer back, spins around and leaves. I realize at that point the two females are using us to hide from this person apparently. After that women's departure, these two females begin having a conversation. Like I said, Rachel being ocd and particular, twisted her head around and not holding anything back, said "Would you please shut the fuck up."
The girls (I had determined they were not in fact women, but actually teenagers) told Rachel to shut up her self and sucked their teeth. At this point, the woman who was seeking this pookie person came back in. Like clockwork, the two girls once again took their hiding positions.
"POOOOOOKIE! POOOOOOOKIE! I know you in here!
POOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE, GOD DAMNIT!"
She once again departed, which was the girls' cue to begin chatting again. Now, all I want to do is stifle any possible conflicts so I turn around and tell them to please either stop talking or move somewhere else where they could talk all they want and not disturb anyone since there wasn't a whole lot of people watching this shit movie. One of them replies "Shit, fuck that! you move!" keeping in mind that we got there 20 minutes before and they got there 15 minutes into, I advised them as such. You think they cared?
Sucking of the teeth.
Finally, I had had enough. I asked them if I needed to go get the usher, although I was already heading down the isle of seats with that intention when one of them replied "You can go git anyone you wanna go git!"
By this time we had caused such a ruckus, people had stopped watching Swim Fan and watched what was happening live. So, the girl says what she says and i reply with "Ok, well, how about if I go get you momma, your name is POOOOOOOKIE! isn't it?"
That brought down the house, all 20 of them. I walked toward the doors and looked behind to see the 2 girls following me out. Exiting, I held the door for them and saw they looked to be like 12-13 years old. One of the girls hid her face as she passed me, looking obviously embarrassed and second, the teeth sucker, was this fat little girl with bad skin and some stink eye action. She looked up at me with her stink eye and I sucked my teeth at her, then promptly pointed them out the passing usher, who then led them to their mom/auntie/baby momma who had been looking for them.
When i went back in, I got a standing ovation.... all 20 of them.... and Rachel.
So last night, 8/20/08, she came to me in my dreams to let me know that I'll never forget her and don't beat myself up over feeling guilty about allowing her to temporarily disappear from my thoughts. Re-living all the times we spent together was her way of telling me, "Haro? Look at all this you're remembering about me. Quit trippin' about fogettin' shit. I ain't goin' nowhere!"
Anyway, that how I interpreted that dream. And since I'm sharing, let me tell you a story I've probably shared with you before, but I know Amanda hasn't heard it!!! lol
So, Rachel and i went to the movies this one time. We decided to see what she wanted to see (Swim Fan) since she wasn't happy with the movie I chose the previous time, Undercover Brother. I compromised, as all good boyfriends should. We got to the theater 20 min before the movie was scheduled to start. one thing to know about rachel, she was diagnosed with severe obsessive compulsive disorder and she was very particular about how things should go down.
Ok, getting back to the story. We enter the theater and choose our seats carefully. There were maybe 20 other people in the theater with us. The movie starts and about 15 minutes in, these 2 dark figures, female, come into the theater and make a beeline for the seats directly behind us. the fuckin theater was practically empty and these two women choose to sit behind us. about 3 minutes later, another person enters the theater and I hear the two people skrunch down in their seats. This person then begins to call out, "POOKIE! POOKIE!!!" and when she gets no answer back, spins around and leaves. I realize at that point the two females are using us to hide from this person apparently. After that women's departure, these two females begin having a conversation. Like I said, Rachel being ocd and particular, twisted her head around and not holding anything back, said "Would you please shut the fuck up."
The girls (I had determined they were not in fact women, but actually teenagers) told Rachel to shut up her self and sucked their teeth. At this point, the woman who was seeking this pookie person came back in. Like clockwork, the two girls once again took their hiding positions.
"POOOOOOKIE! POOOOOOOKIE! I know you in here!
POOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE, GOD DAMNIT!"
She once again departed, which was the girls' cue to begin chatting again. Now, all I want to do is stifle any possible conflicts so I turn around and tell them to please either stop talking or move somewhere else where they could talk all they want and not disturb anyone since there wasn't a whole lot of people watching this shit movie. One of them replies "Shit, fuck that! you move!" keeping in mind that we got there 20 minutes before and they got there 15 minutes into, I advised them as such. You think they cared?
Sucking of the teeth.
Finally, I had had enough. I asked them if I needed to go get the usher, although I was already heading down the isle of seats with that intention when one of them replied "You can go git anyone you wanna go git!"
By this time we had caused such a ruckus, people had stopped watching Swim Fan and watched what was happening live. So, the girl says what she says and i reply with "Ok, well, how about if I go get you momma, your name is POOOOOOOKIE! isn't it?"
That brought down the house, all 20 of them. I walked toward the doors and looked behind to see the 2 girls following me out. Exiting, I held the door for them and saw they looked to be like 12-13 years old. One of the girls hid her face as she passed me, looking obviously embarrassed and second, the teeth sucker, was this fat little girl with bad skin and some stink eye action. She looked up at me with her stink eye and I sucked my teeth at her, then promptly pointed them out the passing usher, who then led them to their mom/auntie/baby momma who had been looking for them.
When i went back in, I got a standing ovation.... all 20 of them.... and Rachel.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Healthy diet
My first class this semester is "Fundamentals of Nutrition"
I just had SweetTarts for dinner. I'm totally gonna Ace that shit!!
Furthermore, today is my cat's birthday so I woke up extra early to make his favorite dessert.
I just had SweetTarts for dinner. I'm totally gonna Ace that shit!!
Furthermore, today is my cat's birthday so I woke up extra early to make his favorite dessert.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Nostraobvious-ku
I'm Prediction King!
Your "No's" smell of withhold scent.
Nostraobvious!
alternate last stanza bonus...
The Caller of It.
Your "No's" smell of withhold scent.
Nostraobvious!
alternate last stanza bonus...
The Caller of It.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Phantom of the Opera
First off, I have to say it was awesome... and anyone who can sing like that for two performances a day should just get like a purple heart or something.
OK, now. For the important part... During the intermission I had an epiphany: I am hilarious. Armed with this knowledge, I turn to J and say, "We should totally be like a two person one man band!" My proposal is this: He will be the soundtrack to my funny! That could totally work right? I figure in like 3 weeks we should have our Comedy Central special in the works. Still have to work out all the kinks, but for now we will be specializing in:
1. Rockin'
2. Inward singing
3. Physical comedy (mostly J's... he's a natural)
Daytime Emmys here I come!!!
OK, now. For the important part... During the intermission I had an epiphany: I am hilarious. Armed with this knowledge, I turn to J and say, "We should totally be like a two person one man band!" My proposal is this: He will be the soundtrack to my funny! That could totally work right? I figure in like 3 weeks we should have our Comedy Central special in the works. Still have to work out all the kinks, but for now we will be specializing in:
1. Rockin'
2. Inward singing
3. Physical comedy (mostly J's... he's a natural)
Daytime Emmys here I come!!!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
THE BANK
DBHITC!: Don't Blow Him in the Car! (A Warning/Advice)
OK, this one is rarely applicable... unless you are stuck in a car with an elderly yogi, who is extensively trained in the ancient Nepalese art of seduction.
And by extensively, I mean NSM. And by Nepalese, I mean near the H Street trolley station.
OK, this one is rarely applicable... unless you are stuck in a car with an elderly yogi, who is extensively trained in the ancient Nepalese art of seduction.
And by extensively, I mean NSM. And by Nepalese, I mean near the H Street trolley station.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Dark Knight say what?
OK, so a friend, who shall remain nameless (but her initials are oa'a), sent me this article after I complained about one aspect of the new dark knight movie.
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx/?news=325482>1=28101
hahaha... IM NOT THE ONLY ONE! i win
My personal take, I love how they bring in adam west, that show doesnt count! that shit was so campy and the first batman movies held on to the campiness of the tv show a little bit, but these new movies dropped any link whatsoever, thank god.
oa'a, its interesting to see them them observe bale's batman is the raspiest but these are all prequels so from where I sit, batman learned to enunciate as he got "older". maybe he got tired of comish gordon sayin "what?"
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx/?news=325482>1=28101
hahaha... IM NOT THE ONLY ONE! i win
My personal take, I love how they bring in adam west, that show doesnt count! that shit was so campy and the first batman movies held on to the campiness of the tv show a little bit, but these new movies dropped any link whatsoever, thank god.
oa'a, its interesting to see them them observe bale's batman is the raspiest but these are all prequels so from where I sit, batman learned to enunciate as he got "older". maybe he got tired of comish gordon sayin "what?"
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